EPISODE 35: Darren’s Demotion
Why "Demoting" Darren Was the Best Move for Our Marriage and Business
Building a business together as a married couple comes with a unique set of challenges, and in our latest pivot, I (Kim) made a decision that might sound shocking: I demoted Darren. Now before you jump to conclusions, let me clarify what I mean by "demotion" — it wasn’t a step down but a step toward finding balance, both in our business and in our relationship.
Let’s dive into why this shift was necessary, how it has transformed our dynamic, and what other family business owners can learn from our experience.
When Two Bosses Are One Too Many
For years, Darren & I ran separate ventures while juggling family life, which gave us the freedom to flex our strengths independently. He was the visionary entrepreneur, full of big ideas and excitement, while I focused on strategy, structure, and execution. But when we decided to combine forces and build our current business together, the lines started to blur.
All of a sudden, we were in each other’s lanes. I found myself needing a strategic partner who could make decisive moves on the executive side, while Darren preferred to be in the trenches, creating opportunities and building relationships. His strength has always been his relentless drive to generate revenue and connect with people, but trying to mold him into a role that required long-term planning and detail-oriented strategy was leading us to frustration — and, frankly, arguments.
We had to face the reality that just because we’re married and both capable leaders doesn’t mean we should co-lead every aspect of the business.
Stepping Back to Move Forward
So, during a moment of clarity (at LAX airport, of all places), I brought it up: What if we reshuffled our roles? What if I took the reins on executive strategy and development, and he focused on what he does best — relationship-building and revenue generation?
To my surprise, Darren didn’t just agree; he was relieved. It was like a weight lifted off his shoulders. He didn’t need to be the one making every executive decision. He thrives in a fast-paced environment where he can seize opportunities, and pushing him into a long-term strategic role was like putting a square peg in a round hole. The truth is, we were trying to be everything to each other: CEO, partner, confidant, sounding board, you name it. And that’s just too much pressure for any couple.
Learning to Let Go
One of the hardest lessons for any business owner is realizing you can’t do it all. It’s even harder when you’re building that business with your spouse, and your instinct is to lean on each other for everything. By demoting Darren (or, as we prefer to call it, “realigning roles”), we created space for a third-party expert to come in and support us in areas where we needed help.
This was a game-changer. Instead of feeling overwhelmed, I found a renewed focus. Instead of feeling pressured, Darren felt empowered to do what he loves without the weight of executive duties he didn’t enjoy. And isn’t that the goal of any business partnership — to play to each other’s strengths rather than force a fit?
Protecting Our Relationship While Scaling the Business
If there’s one takeaway from our experience, it’s this: don’t let ego dictate your roles. The best thing you can do as a couple in business is to have honest conversations about what you truly want to do versus what you feel obligated to do. It’s not about who has the title; it’s about who brings the most value in the right areas.
By letting go of the need to co-lead every part of the business, we’ve been able to preserve the parts of our relationship that matter most. We’ve created more time for the things we love — like planning a spontaneous (and much-needed) vacation or simply enjoying a night out without talking “shop”.
It’s easy to get caught up in the grind and forget why you started building a business together in the first place: to create a better life for your family. Remember, the goal is to grow the business, not to grow resentment. Realigning our roles was less about hierarchy and more about harmony. It gave us room to breathe, and with that space came the clarity we needed to take our business to the next level.
Final Thoughts
So, if you find yourself butting heads with your partner or feeling burnt out, take a step back and ask:
Are we forcing ourselves into roles we don’t belong in?
Could we find better support by bringing in outside expertise?
More importantly, are we building a business that enhances our life together, or are we letting it drive a wedge between us?
Darren’s “demotion” wasn’t a step down — it was a leap forward for both of us. It’s given us a renewed sense of partnership and has set the stage for sustainable growth, both in our business and in our marriage. And honestly, that feels like the biggest win of all.
Until next time, keep finding ways to balance business and love — and remember, sometimes the best way to grow is by letting go.
Stay Connected with Mr. & Mrs. CEO
We’d love to continue this conversation! Connect with us on social media:
Darren’s Instagram: @darren.hiebert
Kim’s Instagram: @kimberley.hiebert
Darren’s LinkedIn: Darren Hiebert
Kim’s LinkedIn: Kimberley Hiebert
Website: Mr. & Mrs. CEO